How can we be authentic to our true self?
On our paths to self-discovery, we make goals, set milestones and keep track of our progress. It’s a continual calibration, as simply setting a goal isn’t enough. Forward movement requires making choices that support our goals.
You and you alone have to choose what you will be loyal too. We know all too well how easy it is to get distracted, and to go back to an old habit “just this once”. We each have to decide what is truly important to us, and sometimes, we have to face rough truths. That piece of chocolate cake may seem like it’s just what you need in the moment, but is it truly more important than a goal of cutting back on sweets? The answer is “Yes” if you do end up giving in to the cake.
However, you also discovered a weakness, which you now can consciously take steps to address. Help yourself out! If you stay up too late at night looking at your phone, stop complaining about how little sleep you get. Make the conscious decision to leave your phone in another room at night. If the phone is right by your bed, you’ll be tempted to look at it. Build up your inner strength and determination so that you can keep your phone next to you without giving in to looking at it.
What is essential throughout any journey towards accomplishing a goal is DO NOT GIVE UP! If you eat that chocolate cake, own up to what you did, and then recalibrate your actions to be inline with your goals. Also take a moment to truly reflect on how that deviation made you feel? Did the cake address the desire you felt before you ate it? Did it live up to the hype? Did you end up in a sugar-induced stupor? Perhaps you want to cut back on video games or watching TV – give yourself a chance to really find out what it feels like, don’t assume that you will always want to keep on doing the same exact things you are doing now.
Keep getting back to your goals, no matter how far off track you might feel. Keep your mind open to new and creative ways to accomplish what you want as you progress through this beautiful life we’ve been given.
Remember the last time you were worried about something? You couldn’t stop thinking about it – “Did I lock the front door?” “I know I forgot something, what is it???” At times, your thoughts would be consumed thinking about it, taking your focus away from what you should have been doing instead of obsessing.
Then, remember the flood of relief you felt when you turned around to go back home and you discovered that you had locked the door, or when you finally remembered you needed to call your bank about an odd looking charge on your statement.
That feeling of relief was the freedom you felt when those worrying thoughts dissipated.
In our lives, that feeling of freedom is essential in pursuing our goals with confidence, with minimum distraction, and with our success securely focused in our mind.
Now think about how jealousy, anger, depression and other negative emotions ‘rob’ your freedom to do what you want to do.
I always tell people – it’s OK to experience negativity. You need to acknowledge it, then work towards letting it go. This doesn’t mean you ignore things, it means you don’t let yourself be affected by the negativity. You rise above it, see things with a satellite view, and then make decisions based on being rational, not being emotional.
We are bound to experience negativity often – how we react to it determines our freedom. It’s our own choice. If you want to work on not reacting emotionally, it takes practice. First, recognize you have the power to receive negativity and block it from affecting you. Then practice, practice, practice! When it comes at you, pause, take a deep breath, even count to 10 if you have to, just don’t let the negativity control you.
Next, set a timeline to motivate yourself on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis towards that goal. Make a plan with steps to be accomplished, and dates by which to accomplish them. If there is an end in sight, with a map on how to get there, you’re far more likely to work towards that result. In setting a calendar with specific challenges and tasks to be accomplished by a certain time, remember, that success often doesn’t come in the order in which we plan it. That’s okay. As long as you’re making progress towards your end result, you’re doing more than 99% of those around you. And you’re likely to get to your goal. Remember, a delay does not mean you have to abandon your goal. After all, you may need to adjust plans along the way as new information comes to us. As long as you start with a firm concept of what you want to accomplish and by when, you will be in motion and moving toward the finish line. Professional athletes, for example, dedicate themselves to practicing, training and striving to meet specific markers along the way to their end goal. Just like that, we need to be specific and consistent. Keep in mind that none of us know when the sun will go down in our lives. All we have is today, to work our hardest, to move forward doing the very best we can with the tools and circumstances in front of us. If you live each day in service to your goals and values, working towards making them happen, I guarantee you will find satisfaction and success!
Celebrate every living breath as if it were your last!
You have the Power in you.
What you do in your life is your Personal Choice!
He Can Do, She Can Do, Why Not Me!
It’s a common misconception that most of our attachments center on objects or people. The truth is that our attitudes and feelings about objects are more binding than the objects themselves. For example, we may become attached to an object, person, or situation (even if we complain about it) because we like feeling comfortable, we fear change, and we don’t have the courage to take initiative on our own. Maybe we stay with a domineering boyfriend, girlfriend, or employer, even though doing so is keeping us stuck in a rut. In cases like these, fear is the real attachment, not the person. If suddenly those people are removed from our lives but we still have not let go of our fundamental fears and have not developed the strength to stand up for ourselves, we’ll just become attached to the next domineering boyfriend or girlfriend or employer that comes along – and continue to complain about them. That’s because the thoughts we keep in our mind rule over us as long as we allow them to stay there, and they continue to produce the same results. Visit me online at my school, Jung SuWon or on YouTube Enjoy some of these recent articles published in Parabola, Medium and Silicon Valley Talk
Your Silent Master is your real self, your original self. It expresses itself through your thinking, through true ideas and thoughts in your mind. It is your eternal Selfhood that exists apart from your brain (which is a sensory processor only) and the personality traits imposed on you from your environment.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to live by the truth that you are one of a kind. As a child in training under my martial arts master, I would be in tears as I told him how my family was treating me – how they were pounding negative messages into my ears every day, telling me I was no good, I was bad luck, I was a tomboy, I was a curse, I was a disaster, I was never going to be happy, I could never be a martial artist and I was crazy to even think like that.No matter how much I wanted to get angry and fight when I heard those words, my master would say to me: “Just remember: You are one of a kind. You are not your mother and you are not your grandmother. Do not let their opinions or judgments or ideas affect who you can be, because you are not them. You are unique. Your mother has copied her lifestyle from your grandmother, as she was taught to do. You say you want to become a practitioner of the martial arts – even a teacher. No woman has ever done that. So you need to accept that you are one of a kind and acknowledge it. You need to believe that’s who you are before you can convince anyone else.” He encouraged me to affirm that truth over and over. Now it is my turn to tell you: I know who you are. Now you have to know who you are. You are one of a kind. You are not just someone’s son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father. You’re not just an employee or manager at such and such a company. We’ve all heard about people who lose their job or break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend and then lash out violently at others or even want to commit suicide because they believe their life is now finished. Have you ever felt that way yourself? Remember, your job, your relationships, what other people say about you is not who you are. If someone doesn’t appreciate who you are, you are still one of a kind with unlimited opportunity and potential. No one can take that away from you – unless you allow them to. Visit me online at my school, Jung SuWon or on YouTube Enjoy some of these recent articles published in Parabola, Medium and Silicon Valley Talk