How can we be authentic to our true self?
On our paths to self-discovery, we make goals, set milestones and keep track of our progress. It’s a continual calibration, as simply setting a goal isn’t enough. Forward movement requires making choices that support our goals.
You and you alone have to choose what you will be loyal too. We know all too well how easy it is to get distracted, and to go back to an old habit “just this once”. We each have to decide what is truly important to us, and sometimes, we have to face rough truths. That piece of chocolate cake may seem like it’s just what you need in the moment, but is it truly more important than a goal of cutting back on sweets? The answer is “Yes” if you do end up giving in to the cake.
However, you also discovered a weakness, which you now can consciously take steps to address. Help yourself out! If you stay up too late at night looking at your phone, stop complaining about how little sleep you get. Make the conscious decision to leave your phone in another room at night. If the phone is right by your bed, you’ll be tempted to look at it. Build up your inner strength and determination so that you can keep your phone next to you without giving in to looking at it.
What is essential throughout any journey towards accomplishing a goal is DO NOT GIVE UP! If you eat that chocolate cake, own up to what you did, and then recalibrate your actions to be inline with your goals. Also take a moment to truly reflect on how that deviation made you feel? Did the cake address the desire you felt before you ate it? Did it live up to the hype? Did you end up in a sugar-induced stupor? Perhaps you want to cut back on video games or watching TV – give yourself a chance to really find out what it feels like, don’t assume that you will always want to keep on doing the same exact things you are doing now.
Keep getting back to your goals, no matter how far off track you might feel. Keep your mind open to new and creative ways to accomplish what you want as you progress through this beautiful life we’ve been given.
Remember the last time you were worried about something? You couldn’t stop thinking about it – “Did I lock the front door?” “I know I forgot something, what is it???” At times, your thoughts would be consumed thinking about it, taking your focus away from what you should have been doing instead of obsessing.
Then, remember the flood of relief you felt when you turned around to go back home and you discovered that you had locked the door, or when you finally remembered you needed to call your bank about an odd looking charge on your statement.
That feeling of relief was the freedom you felt when those worrying thoughts dissipated.
In our lives, that feeling of freedom is essential in pursuing our goals with confidence, with minimum distraction, and with our success securely focused in our mind.
Now think about how jealousy, anger, depression and other negative emotions ‘rob’ your freedom to do what you want to do.
I always tell people – it’s OK to experience negativity. You need to acknowledge it, then work towards letting it go. This doesn’t mean you ignore things, it means you don’t let yourself be affected by the negativity. You rise above it, see things with a satellite view, and then make decisions based on being rational, not being emotional.
We are bound to experience negativity often – how we react to it determines our freedom. It’s our own choice. If you want to work on not reacting emotionally, it takes practice. First, recognize you have the power to receive negativity and block it from affecting you. Then practice, practice, practice! When it comes at you, pause, take a deep breath, even count to 10 if you have to, just don’t let the negativity control you.
While you’re reading through this, try to think about times when you may have felt critical of others or yourself. Did holding those feelings help the situation or did they make it worse?
As you become more aware of the energy and emotions you want to purge from your environment, try your best not to get caught up in criticizing yourself for the attribute you want to be rid of. Please don’t be too hard on yourself for having apprehension or being restless or annoyed. The fact that you’re taking notice of these tendencies means that you’re doing something – you’re starting taking first steps to take control of your life. As I mentioned earlier, try to analyze these shortcomings with a very close eye.
When you’re driving down an old road on a hot day and your car gets covered in dust, you wouldn’t think of it as right or wrong. You understand that this is something that just happens, and you make a mental note to get the car washed the next time you’re in town. Let’s pretend you’re in a car and it begins to rain, naturally your front window begins to get wetter and wetter so you turn on the windshield wipers to see better. You’re not going to blame the rain for messing with you and say, “Why is this stupid water getting on my windshield and all over my car, and on a Monday of all days!?”
It doesn’t really matter how you feel about the rain, partially because the rain doesn’t care about you either. Maybe you have been experiencing a major drought where you live and you welcome the downpour with open arms, or maybe you’ve had drenching floods lately and you don’t want to see another drop of rain for the rest of your life. Regardless of how you feel, you have to deal with what’s happening in the moment. Getting worked up and allowing emotions to negatively influence you won’t help. In order to move forward, you have to establish a balance, be positive, and take appropriate measures.
Life is like sailing across an ocean, and in the same way that you experience rough and turbulent weather at times, so too will you experience fear or doubt or jealousy and you’ll want to have your umbrella with you. That’s perfectly natural. Observe these attitudes for what they really are and, becauseyou’re being consciously aware just know that they’re holding you back, set your sights on removing them and replacing them with belief in yourself as your own unique person, gratitude for what you already have, and excitement to be alive with a new day of opportunity ripe for the takinIf you connect with what you’ve read here you might enjoy the book I wrote SEVEN STEPS TO INNER POWER, where I talk about other life experiences and what I’ve learned in the process.
“Your contribution to the promotion of peace and reunification on the Korean Peninsula has been chosen as the recipient of the 2018 Korea Unification Contribution Award. In honor of that achievement, we will present the medal and plaque of peace on the Korean Peninsula, which is made by melting the DMZ barbed wire and the shell used in the Korean War, symbolizing the division of the Korean peninsula, with the appreciation and respect of all Koreans.”Mr. Chung Ui Wha, the Chairman of the 19th National Assembly of Korea, presented the awards and plaques: I was honored to have the opportunity to present medals to our Veterans who served in the Korean War. This was especially moving for me, as any one of those soldiers may have helped save my life when I was a young girl running from the bombs in the Korean War!
I had the opportunity to share a few thoughts after receiving my medal. My main message was to share with everyone that as we strive to generate peace in the Korean Peninsula, it is most important that we recognize that peace comes from within us. So, let us have peace in our heart, and may it continue to grow, so we can share peace with the whole world. Always remember: He Can Do, She Can Do, Why Not Me!