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The minutes ticked on as I sat outside of the principal’s office, waiting for someone to ask me why I was there. I was prepared for the question; I had, in fact, placed a bookmark into my worn Korean-English dictionary and marked the page where I’d written my answer in careful letters.

Hello, my name is Tae Yun Kim. I want to teach your students martial arts.

But no one had asked. Every afternoon for the last several weeks, I had taken a seat and waited for an invitation to speak, to no avail. At just over twenty, I was tiny and thin — at a glance, I almost looked like one of the students walking through the schools’ halls. But aside from a few odd glances, no one spoke to me. Yet, day in and out, I returned with my dictionary in hand, preparing for the day that someone would invite me inside. 

It took a month. Finally, a curious administrator asked me what I was doing, and I finally had a chance to explain.

The principal was skeptical, at first. He told me that the school couldn’t pay me, that they didn’t want students to hurt themselves, that there was no martial arts course in place.

“That’s okay,” I told him, “I’ll volunteer, and martial arts will teach your students discipline.”

After some time, he agreed.

Persistence, I’ve learned, is often the key to success. After the first few days of waiting, some might have given up or assumed the answer was no — but because I committed myself, I was able to achieve both acceptance and opportunities beyond measure.

Having the chance to teach brought me joy, because all I wanted to do was share my skills in martial arts. Back then, I was barely into my twenties and had just made the journey from my village in rural Korea to Vermont. Teaching was my dream — and I had struggled for years to study martial arts, facing abuse in a profoundly repressive patriarchal culture. I’d become Korea’s very first female grandmaster but was rejected as a teacher because of my gender. I wanted to teach, as I had been taught, and help others break free of their fears and circumstances — I just needed the chance.

That day, in that office, was my chance. It’s been decades since that day, but I still remember it. Since then, I’ve moved on to establish my own school, hundreds of miles away. I’ve taught thousands of students, built a tech company, and risen far above where my elders thought I would — all because of persistence.

 

Here’s what I’ve learned over the years.

 If You Don’t Ask, You Guarantee Rejection

Many people abide by unnecessarily strict rules, so boxed in by their fears of seeming impolite or overly forward that they wall themselves off from opportunities. Another person might have been intimidated or embarrassed by the idea of sitting outside of a principal’s office for a month — but taking a risk on that embarrassment helped me make an enormous step forward in my career. I don’t regret it, and I wouldn’t even if the answer was a firm rejection.

You are only ever guaranteed to fail if you refuse to try in the first place. The worst that someone can say when you pursue an opportunity is “no” — and even then, you may be able to make connections or find information that will help you achieve your goals another way.

  Don’t let fear keep you from pursuing your dreams.

 

Rejection Isn’t Always Permanent — Or Even Negative.

When I landed in Vermont, I had just $300 to my name and was living in a trailer park. There, it didn’t matter what I’d given to become a martial arts Grandmaster, or even that I was one. My only career option was to clean toilets for money. Some might have seen those circumstances as a low point, or become discouraged.

I’ll be honest — there were times that it was terrible. Some nights, I had little but bone broth to eat. But I viewed each hard night as a stepping stone for something greater. I was being paid to scrub toilets, which constituted a significant step up from doing it for free for family members. It was honorable work, and I knew that it would give me the financial platform I needed to move onto my next success.

Persistence doesn’t always mean reaching for your furthest goal after a few days — or even months — of effort. Instead, it means being thankful for small steps and maintaining a determined spirit against adversity.

Harsh Words Should Motivate, Not Deter, You

It wasn’t always easy being a Korean woman in 1960s America. Back in my village, I had been reviled for being female and uninterested in gender norms. In America, I was rejected for the color of my skin, my broken English, my poverty, and my gender. It was hard; I was constantly demeaned, faced slurs, and even risked physical abuse. When I finally scraped together the money to rent studio space for a martial arts school, arsonists burned it to the ground.

Each setback was demoralizing and frustrating; however, I knew that I had to reset my perspective. So, after someone demeaned me or my dreams, I would respond — “Okay, I see you. You motivate me. I will prove you wrong.”

And I did.

There are always going to be people who step on your dreams. You’ll hear it from your competitors, enemies, friends, family. Even well-meant advice can be hurtful. You can be put down, made to think that you won’t accomplish anything — but you need to bear through it. Let criticism inform and motivate your efforts, not crush them.

Persistence is key. 

Remember the last time you were worried about something?  You couldn’t stop thinking about it - “Did I lock the front door?” “I know I forgot something, what is it???”  At times, your thoughts would be consumed thinking about it, taking your focus away from what you should have been doing instead of obsessing.

 

 

Then, remember the flood of relief you felt when you turned around to go back home and you discovered that you had locked the door, or when you finally remembered you needed to call your bank about an odd looking charge on your statement.

 

That feeling of relief was the freedom you felt when those worrying thoughts dissipated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In our lives, that feeling of freedom is essential in pursuing our goals with confidence, with minimum distraction, and with our success securely focused in our mind.

 

Now think about how jealousy, anger, depression and other negative emotions ‘rob’ your freedom to do what you want to do.

 

I always tell people - it’s OK to experience negativity.  You need to acknowledge it, then work towards letting it go.  This doesn’t mean you ignore things, it means you don’t let yourself be affected by the negativity.  You rise above it, see things with a satellite view, and then make decisions based on being rational, not being emotional.

 

 

We are bound to experience negativity often - how we react to it determines our freedom.  It’s our own choice.  If you want to work on not reacting emotionally, it takes practice.  First, recognize you have the power to receive negativity and block it from affecting you.  Then practice, practice, practice!  When it comes at you, pause, take a deep breath, even count to 10 if you have to, just don’t let the negativity control you.

Your thoughts create reality. Sure, you say. This is not a new concept. Obviously, we are affected by the constant barrage of  internal and external influences we endure on a daily basis. Marketing companies alone spend hours each day figuring out how to expose us to thoughts that drive us to purchasing their products.

 

 

If thoughts didn’t matter, these ads and their advertisers wouldn’t exist.

That’s why we all need to understand how truly powerful this idea is:  Whatever we think about consciously and subconsciously manifests in our daily life. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In other words, what we focus on grows bigger in our daily lives, and what we ignore grows smaller.

This concept applies to everything, including all the negative, self-limiting, and doubting thoughts that hold us back, as well as the confident, determined, supportive thoughts that propel us into positive action.

While you may give thought to what you eat on a daily basis, making sure it’s healthy and good f or you, do you do the same with your thoughts?

 

 

Remember, it takes vigilance to examine and if necessary, to remove the thoughts that run through our minds. And yet, how successful could anyone be with an inner dialogue that repeats “you can’t do it.”  Ask any successful person and they’ll tell you the same thing: while they may have had that voice in their head, they chose not to listen to it.

Next time you are standing in front of a mirror, take a few minutes to look at yourself.  I mean really look at yourself. While you’re there, quiet your mind and listen to the thoughts that come next.  Don’t be discouraged if you hear nothing, or have trouble quieting your mind. You may even find that you have a hard time looking at yourself.  This is a form of meditation and it takes practice and patience.

Here is an excerpt from my book, SEVEN STEPS TO INNER POWER.  As you read through this, think about what it means to let go of dangerous attitudes and activities that cause us pain and suffering.    

Now let's look at another dimension of sacrifice - letting go of attitudes that block our progress.  Letting go of attitudes is just as essential as letting go of unhealthy activities or saying goodbye to people who hinder our progress.  In fact, unless you let go of certain attitudes, your physical letting go won't last very long.  This concept is related to the inner power step of purity.  When you let go of an attitude that is sabotaging who you want to be, you are also purifying your world of a habit pattern that has kept you hostage to limited thinking and limited living.

   

It's a common misconception that most of our attachments center on objects or people.  The truth is that our attitudes and feelings about objects are more binding than the objects themselves.  For example, we may become attached to an object, person, or situation (even if we complain about it) because we like feeling comfortable, we fear change, and we don't have the courage to take initiative on our own.  Maybe we stay with a domineering boyfriend, girlfriend, or employer, even though doing so is keeping us stuck in a rut.  In cases like these, fear is the real attachment, not the person.

If suddenly those people are removed from our lives but we still have not let go of our fundamental fears and have not developed the strength to stand up for ourselves, we'll just become attached to the next domineering boyfriend or girlfriend or employer that comes along - and continue to complain about them.  That's because the thoughts we keep in our mind rule over us as long as we allow them to stay there, and they continue to produce the same results.

Visit me online at my school, Jung SuWon or on YouTube

Enjoy some of these recent articles published in ParabolaMedium and Silicon Valley Talk

Great Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim offers Private Classes in California and Oregon!

Jung SuWon Martial Art Academy provides many different programs! Great Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim and Master Instructors offer private classes in both California and Oregon. These classes are very popular in the surrounding cities like Medford, Oregon; Applegate, Oregon; Jacksonville, Oregon; Central Point, Oregon; Grants Pass, Oregon, and Fremont, California; Milpitas, California; San Jose, California; Cupertino, Silicon Valley California; and more!

What is a Private Class?

It is a one-on-one session for students who want to further their training by focusing on a specific technique, form or sparring.  Private classes are designed so that the student will receive immediate feedback and advice on how to improve, which helps accelerates the students training. One private class is equivalent to about a week’s worth of regular classes because of the student-teacher ratio.

                    

One of the students who recently took private classes shares how she learned to better visualize her target.  Before, she was striking with her techniques aimlessly, now she is exercising the power of visualization with every technique that she does and it’s helping her to direct her energy toward her target or goal.  Her focus at work and home has improved, she can see her goals clearly and she knows how to achieve them.

Why is visualization important?  Dr. Tae Yun Kim writes in one of her books, Seven Steps to Inner Power, “Visualization is the process of forming a mental image.” and “It is an immaterial activity that takes form first as a mental image, then as a material image.”  So, as students focus on their physical techniques, they are also visualizing their goals.  “No matter what goals you are aiming for in your life, visualization is an essential tool to achieving them.”  Dr. Kim’s words are based on nearly 70 years of experience and application.

Learn more about visualization! Can you visualize your goal and your dreams? Are you ready to make it happen? You can gain many insights and lessons through private classes offered at Jung SuWon!

 

Here is an excerpt from my book, The Silent Master: Awakening the Power Within:

PRACTICE

ONE

As you go about purifying your energy, it's important to recognize the positive qualities you already demonstrate. Split yourself in two for a moment, and list the positive and negative qualities you possess. Don't be surprised if you have to work hard at this, especially at acknowledging your good nature. In order to control and purify your energy, you have to know where you stand first! Since you may not be used to observing yourself, this will be a good practice to find out how to direct your efforts. Try it like this:

Desirable Qualities
I make an effort to eat pure, balanced foods.

Undesirable Qualities
I get angry at slight provocation and usually cause a fight.

TWO

Practice identifying the attitudes and conditions that affect your energy. Events in your life are teachers and give you much feedback about what works and what doesn't. Think about your past and ask what specifically happened here or there that played a role in creating constructive changes for you. Think of a situation in which your energy changed in a significant way. What did you do to change your energy? What happened as a result? You can probably find instances where certain negative attitudes or actions created a negative result and instances where either consciously or by accident you took an action that worked positively for you."

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In my book, Seven Steps to Inner Power:

Dr. Tae Yun Kim Quotes

"Sacrifice

 When you have a goal that is a priority, and when you commit your total loyalty to this cause, you will undoubtedly make decisions about competing priorities in your life.

Remember the example of preparing to train for a marathon race? Attending every party in town could not be an equal priority to working out every day. One or the other must be chosen, the other sacrificed.

When your Silent Master gives you a desire, It will never ask you to sacrifice something you need. That is contrary to Its nature of love. When you find yourself at a crossroads and you must make a choice, look closely to see if the so called sacrifice is really a loss. Usually, the things we give up to achieve a goal are no longer needed or are unworthy of keeping. If you give up laziness to keep your workout schedule, is that a loss? If you give up fear while learning something new, is that a loss? If you give up smoking to train for the race, is that a loss?

When we discussed increase and decrease with the yin-yang symbol, we said that every decrease (the black yin area) carries with it the seed of some new increase (the white dot in the black). Decrease is destined to turn into increase. So, even a real sacrifice is not ever really a loss. It is preparation for a new condition.

Many times it appears we are forced into a crossroads situation and we have to make a choice, a sacrifice. Sometimes, however, we can freely and willingly sacrifice certain states of mind to make room for the new.

The word “sacrifice” is derived from the Latin words sacer, meaning holy, and facer, meaning “to make.” Sacrifice means “to make holy.” So, when you sacrifice your weaknesses, fears, and limitations, you’re actually loving yourself, making yourself holy by expressing your truth and purity This is a joyful, expanding process, no matter how painful it may appear on the surface.

Sacrifice leads to patience."

 

More Info:

Quotes-GoodreadsJung SuWon Blog  Woman’s Summit speaker, Martial Art Demos, Biography, Dojo Review, Unofficial Food Blog

Here is an excerpt from my book, Seven Steps to Inner Power:

 

Dr Tae Yun Kim Quotes

"Loyalty is a supreme act of love. Suppose you had a friend who gave you money when you were out of work, gave you a place to live when you had no home, saved your life when you were in trouble, told you to call anytime you needed help. Is this friend worthy of your loyalty? If one day this person asked you for your support, wouldn’t you gladly give it, even if it involved some kind of sacrifice on your part? Most likely, you would do anything you could for this friend. Your loyalty would know no bounds.

If this is what you would do for a friend, how about your Self? What are you willing to do for it? Aren’t you deserving of your own loyalty? How much loyalty are you willing to show your Silent Master, the infinite part of you constantly standing ready, like a friend, to give you everything?

Your Silent Master knows Its worth and value, knows It deserves all your love, energy, support—and loyalty. It knows It is truth, purity, and love—your truth, purity, and love. Thus, loyalty to your Silent Master is putting your real self forward with confidence, conviction, determination, purpose, power, and love. Show your loyalty! And as you do, you move as One with your Silent Master.

Loyalty leads to Sacrifice."

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Here is an excerpt from my book, Seven Steps to Inner Power:

 

Dr Tae Yun Kim Quotes

"Loyalty

 Why does love lead to loyalty?

 Love is its own reward. The wonderful feeling of love generated from expressing your real self naturally leads you to value your real self even more. Then, the more you value your real self, the more you love. This momentum of love is the essence of loyalty, so loyalty is the result of perpetuating, reinforcing, and expressing your real self by loving it.

 And how do you love yourself? By being your real self. There is no greater way to love your real self than by being It. That is loyalty.

 Here’s an interesting thought you may not be aware of. The word “loyal” is derived from the Latin word legalis, which means “legal.” Thus, loyal includes the meaning of legal, which means “bound by law.” So, when you are loyal to your real self, when you are loyal to true and pure ideas about yourself, you invite the law of manifestation to operate and bring forth your real self. Loyalty is an act of acknowledging this law, an act of recognizing that whatever you are mentally loyal to is bound to take form.

 Loyalty, then, is a lot like gratitude because they are both acts of recognizing or acknowledging an idea. Whatever you’re loyal to, you recognize. Whatever you recognize, you think about. Whatever you think recognize, you think about. Whatever you think about, you manifest.

 If you act with your body and mind as one, if you know the truth about yourself, if you express purity and love, you have done much to achieve your goal. It is at this point you must exercise loyalty to your cause so you bring your vision to completion, so you do not give up, turn back, regress, or undermine yourself."

 

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