Here is an excerpt from my book, The Silent Master: Awakening the Power Within:
“Let’s say you pick the characteristic of shyness. Go over your life – from two minutes ago to as far back as you can remember – and dig up those instances in which you were clearly not shy, those times you contradicted this belief entirely, and someone was left with an entirely different impression. I assure you that this experience – and probably more than one – will be there. Somewhere, sometime, I think you’ll find you acted totally differently from this belief, and someone was left thinking you were not at all shy. When you remember the incident or incidents you will call a certain sense of calm and rightness that you felt. That calmness was you being you. Even if the incident was an angry moment when you left your shyness behind – still, there was a rightness to that moment when you acted from a true principle within yourself.
My point is that, no matter what trait you pick, there are instances where you did not demonstrate it. You may have already given up some of the negative traits that you were told you had, but you may still carry around the vague feeling of being “bad.”
Therefore, don’t let your personality, as it is now define you. Realize you have been formed by others’ opinions and expectations as much as or more so than your own inner knowing. Listen to your own inner voice and follow your own direction. The only truth is already in you, talking to you, being you. Let it come forth.”