Here is an excerpt from my book, The Silent Master: Awakening the Power Within:
Whatever your life is right now, it is a result of how you have defined yourself, or how you have identified yourself. The personality you have, the way that you have identified yourself, is due primarily to two things: 1) the way you have allowed yourself to imitate someone else or become a copy of others’ expectations (instead of being your original Self); and 2) the way you have expressed the need to acquire.
Let’s talk about the first point – how you may have let go of your real Self.
There is only one of you here. You are one of a kind an original. How important it is, then, to be your original “self, not a copy of someone else or a fulfillment of someone else’s expectations.
The choices you have made about your personality traits and your career stemmed largely from the Self-Concepts you developed in your family, or wherever you grew up. We did not grow up alone. There were always significant people around us in the early stages of our lives teaching us who we are. How did they do that? By being our mirror. They told us things like these: “I like you when …” “You’re bad when you…” “You’re too loud.” “You’re just like your sister.” “Boys don’t do that.” “Good girls always…” When you are a small child, your inner voice is powerfully overshadowed by the voice of the authority figures who literally determine whether you live or die. You quickly conform to their perception of you. If you reject their perceptions, then you are labeled “rebellious,” which can be just as bad as accepting their other erroneous perceptions of you.